Shower for One Please

In this day and age, should I have to fight for my shower? Should I have to answer the same question every night and have to deal with the sad face the inevitably follows my answer. Thus ruining any chance of me actually having a peaceful and relaxing shower.

Not that I get a peaceful and relaxing shower. I have to rush through and do a 2 minute shower at night, speed washing in hopes that I will make it under the spray and out to a towel in time to miss his hopeful face peaking around the shower curtain.

“Can I join you?”

I hate this question. After almost 4 years of marriage I have come to dread bed time. As usual, I get up and say some semblance of the following: I’m tired, gonna shower and go to bed. and as usual I get the question. “Can I join you?”

No. And I have to leave it there because if I say all that i want to say, I will hurt his feelings and that is bad. Right? You aren’t allowed to be a harping bitch in your marriage because that makes you the bad guy and allows him room to be the emotionally abusive asshole that he evidently wants to be.

Anyway what I want to say is, No. You cannot join me. This is the only time of the day I get to myself, a time I used to enjoy, a time I used to be able to take whenever. I have resigned myself to the fact that the only time I can now take a shower is when everyone else’s needs have been met and the sun is no longer in the sky, but that does not mean I have to resolve myself to sharing the shower with you.

It isn’t sexy. Me all wet and lathered up in my pale white roundness is not sexy. I’m trying clean off a day of baby poop and house gunk, of you and all the stress. Sex in the shower doesn’t work for me. You get off, but I don’t. I get a muscle cramp and my head banged against the shower wall. Not Sexy.

And I shouldn’t have to deal with you poking your head into the shower on the days I try to sneak off and shower without announcing it. I didn’t invite you. Everytime I get into the shower is not a time to get off.

Oh OH OHHHHH and the worst but happened the other day. I’m getting into the shower and as usual don’t want the company. So he decides to ahem handle the situation himself. And what does he do? Pokes his head in the shower and asks if he can do it in there. “I won’t get it on you”

Dam fucking right you won’t get it on me, because you aren’t going to come in here and do that.

If I ever want you to come in, I will issue you an invitation. Until then consider the shower door locked and closed when you hear the shower running.

Sad Mac

I’ve been cleaning and sorting out the wreckage of the condo while watching Sex in the City in Totale. Okay so it’s only slight wreckage but it still sucks, and the place smells like old cat pee.

Now that the immediate threat and problems have past, the adrenalin has definitely gone away. Now there is a definite threat of full blown depression. At this point, I can’t help but feel betrayed and unhappy in my condo. Every wall is just another accident, another leak, another freaking problem waiting to happen. But I know that is just the depression talking, the aftermath. Over soon, hopefully.

I’d take this moment to grumble about my husband but I’m too tired at this point.

And to top it all off. While i was messing around trying to get my cameria to work, I found some old pictures of Rosie and the baby hidinging on the camera. ;( It’s just one of those days.

Sad Mac

I’ve been cleaning and sorting out the wreckage of the condo while watching Sex in the City in Totale. Okay so it’s only slight wreckage but it still sucks, and the place smells like old cat pee.

Now that the immediate threat and problems have past, the adrenalin has definitely gone away. Now there is a definite threat of full blown depression. At this point, I can’t help but feel betrayed and unhappy in my condo. Every wall is just another accident, another leak, another freaking problem waiting to happen. But I know that is just the depression talking, the aftermath. Over soon, hopefully.

I’d take this moment to grumble about my husband but I’m too tired at this point.

Say it ain’t So.

Rained again today, inside our home that is.

I kept wondering what that ping sound was. It wasn’t quite a plop, not really that liquid. I thought it was a noise from the ceiling fan slightly off kilter, a little unbalanced.

Finally that noise bothers me so i go to investigate. It’s not the fan, fuck. The fan isn’t unbalanced, it’s me. The closer I get to the air conditioner nook, the more the plink sounds like a plop and a plop means water. I hold my breath and open the door. Double fuck there is water everywhere. Okay I can handle this, towels, call the air conditioner people. (there were here in an hour, gotta love them) Uh Miss, the water isn’t coming from your unit, if you look here, it’s coming from the ceiling.

Tripple fuck… Call Erich, “Honey I need you home, it’s raining inside again.” Go upstairs and meet neighbor for the first time in 4 months. Uh your unit is leaking into mine.. (Shit she says, let me call the land lord)

Long story short, part of the ceiling caves in. It’s 7:24pm and they have an AC guy here to look at the problem. “They have to turn the unit off and more water is going to come out the gaping hole in your ceiling, so you might need a bucket instead of that bread pan that you are using.”

Quadruple Fuck. Okay, scrounge a bucket just in time for a torrent of water.

I can make this work. I have my dry wall guy coming Saturday night to give me an idea on what it will cost to fix. Meanwhile he says make some holes where there ceiling hasn’t fellen in and after they fix the leak put a fan on it. It’ll take two days minimum to dry out. We’ll see the damage after that.

I sent the baby to Erich’s parents, this is why Erich and the baby have been having sinus problems all week, because there has been a cespool breading under our air intake vent.

Picture fun. Gotta love the joy of home ownership.

Seriously considering just packing our bags and leaving at this point. Let the bank have the place. Life is too short to deal with this. I can wait 7 years to buy again. I can repair my credit right? Quintuple Fuck. Fore closure sounds like a breeze compared to this place. Sextuple Fuck.

 

 

Birthday thoughts

It’s way far away, but seeing that Amelia just dunked my camera in a glass of orange juice (good supervision hubby), I’d really like to upgrade a little.

So I’m spreading the word that althought I appreciate all birthday gifts if you so choose to give me, I would love it if you could donate to the pot so I can get a Digital SLR (Preita I’m calling you for suggestions, cause I kinda like yours)

Thanks

-A